benefits of being friends with me
- shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
- shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them
The one on the right looks so upset about this development.
marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than u so they wont eat all of urs
Today I saw the single most shocking thing I have seen in my entire life
Some guy just whistled at me while driving by and my dad goes “don’t worry, that was for me”
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now
dont ask me about 2009
IM REALLY TIRED OF PARENTS THINKING THAT EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET IS A PREDATOR
ikr wanna meet up and talk about it so where do you live?
that settles it
we have to get rid of the ocean
loud music should be a thing in public restrooms i don’t like hearing people pee
Time is a cruel unforgiving mistress